How to Pray When You Don't Know What to Say
By the Pace with Grace editorial team
Key takeaways
- Even Jesus' disciples asked to be taught how to pray, you're not behind
- The prayers in the Bible are messy, honest, and often desperate, that counts
- Three easy formats: one-liners, hijacked Scripture, and lists
- Prayer rarely feels electric, consistency matters more than intensity
- Aim for honesty over performance, and rhythm over ritual
01
If you've forgotten how to pray, you're in good company
Most people who say they 'don't know how to pray' actually mean one of three things: they don't know what to say, they feel like they're talking to the ceiling, or they were taught a version that felt fake. All three are addressable. Even the disciples, who lived with Jesus, asked him to teach them to pray. It's not a skill you're supposed to be born with.
02
Prayer is more like talking than performing
If your image of prayer is someone with their eyes closed using King James English, that's a cultural inheritance, not a biblical requirement. The prayers in the Bible are messy. David accuses God of abandoning him. Job demands answers. Jesus asks for the cup to pass. The Psalms include rage, doubt, exhaustion, and desperation, all of it counts as prayer. The performance is the part to drop.
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03
Three formats that work when your brain is empty
- 01The honest one-liner: 'God, I'm tired.' 'God, help.' 'God, where are you?' These are real prayers. The Psalms are full of them.
- 02The hijacked Scripture: take a verse and put your name in it. 'You see me, God. You knit me together. You know when I sit and when I rise.' That's prayer.
- 03The list: open your notes app and write five things you're worried about, five things you're grateful for, and one thing you want. Read it back to God. Done.
04
What to do when it feels like nothing's happening
Most prayer doesn't feel electric. The biblical pattern is consistency, not intensity. Showing up, even when it feels mechanical, is the point. The Hebrew word for prayer (tefilah) implies ongoing, two-way conversation, not a vending machine. If it feels dry, you're not doing it wrong. You're in the part most spiritual writers describe as normal.
05
Build a rhythm, not a ritual
Try this: one prayer in the morning (one sentence is fine), one in the evening, and one whenever you remember during the day. Don't aim for hours. Aim for honesty. Over time, the habit reshapes you more than any single perfect prayer would.